Ah, the ‘Spirit Warrior Shop’ journey begins (though really, it’s been happening the whole time).
Audrey and I (Shane) have recently committed to living our lives more in-sync with what we know our true desires and passions are. Namely our new Spirit Warrior Shop. However, let me be clear that Spirit Warrior, the company, is not the “purpose” to our lives. Spirit Warrior is a result, a secondary after-effect of aligning ourselves to our true selves. Remember what I said here, as this is the basis of the remainder of this blog post.
More and more it seems that people are “waking up to their truth”. When this happens, invariably, they begin to ponder and ask the following questions:
- Who am I really?
- What is the purpose to life…to my life?
- What should I be doing?
- What is the “right” thing for me to do? Is there a “right” thing?
On and on, the mind begins spinning around these questions, sometimes for years (I know I did). That’s fine. A lot of emphasis today is put on the idea of quieting the ‘thinking mind’ and using more of our intuition and deep inner ‘knowing’ when it comes to identifying what is true for ourselves, and this is a good thing, however sometimes there is a process and an order to things and it is entirely natural and normal to begin this journey of personal and spiritual development with a lot of heavy thinking at first. Let it be, for now.
Additionally, it has been my experience over the past few years, and during the process of communicating with others, that a predominant focus is inherently put onto the “doing” of life as opposed to the “being” of life. “What is the difference?”, you might ask. The difference between the two is everything, and in my experience, it is the key element which will take you from ‘struggling to live your life purpose’ to ‘living it’, or perhaps I should say, BEING it. Before we continue, let’s break down the specific difference between ‘being’ and ‘doing’:
- Doing = external, secondary, outward action. For example, let’s say that you have come to the realization that you have a lot of passion for and desire to help and work with animals (primary). You might become a veterinarian, you might volunteer at an animal shelter, or you might be a foster home for animals in transition from being strays to finding a home (secondary). Imagine ‘doing-ness’ as an externalized, action-oriented, physical experience, where you are literally doing stuff in the world.
- Being = internal, primary, inward state of being/feeling. For example, the ‘realization’ itself that you have a lot of passion for and desire to help and work with animals is the inward, “ah-ha” feeling or “moment of clarity”. That feeling of what is true for you (being passionate about helping animals), that feeling of love, joy, compassion, excitement and the feeling of WANTING to take action because you have this inner-inspiration to move on your feelings…that is being. You could also call it ‘resonating’, as in, you resonate something out FROM you (love, joy, anger, hate) or you resonate WITH something (love, joy, anger, hate). Metaphysics suggests this is actually what you are/create/attract in your life, beyond actions. Quantum Physics suggests that “all that is”, down to a single particle of energy, is vibration and that those vibrations are what create our experience of reality. What I am suggesting is that your “being-ness” is the vibrations you create or resonate with, from within yourself, beyond the self, but also within it.
The true understanding and application of this distinction in your life, at least from my perspective, is what will change everything for you.
You see, in our society we are constantly conditioned to be ‘doers’. From birth you have been taught by everyone and everything around you, that being “productive” equals success, popularity, proves that you are responsible and basically makes you ‘feel OK’ or that you are “doing good”. All the while, we are totally disconnected from (or try to ignore) how we actually feel about what we are doing.
You might say, “Hey man, I gotta pay the rent, give me a break…”
I am not suggesting that doing-ness is bad or wrong. Actually, I would suggest that if you focus on who you are…what you are being/resonating…that you will work harder and more feverishly and with more passion and excitement than you ever have before. “The rent” will become so unimportant to you, not just because you will probably be taken care of financially as a result of all the passionate work you are pumping out, but because who you are, and what you resonate will be so far removed from the fear of “paying the bills” that you simply won’t be focused on that part of your life anymore. It will just be taken care of.
In order to make my point and explain this more fully to you, let me use part of my own story, which also leads up to Audrey and I fully committing to the re-launch of Spirit Warrior:
7 or so years ago, I was in the “doing” camp, as I had been for my entire life up to that point. Even though deep down I knew something was wrong, I didn’t know what I know now, and so I kept on trying to produce, to become a responsible member of society. I was young and since I did not spend the time or allow myself to figure out who I really am and what I really want to be in this life (I’m not talking about vocation here), all of the external “doing-ness” I did (jobs) were extremely unfulfilling and frustrating for me. I would either quit or be fired within 6 months of almost every job I have ever had (of which there were many). If I didn’t quit or get fired, I just suffered. I’m not saying, “woe is me, I have a job, which others wished they could have, but poor me, I have it so hard!”. I am talking about a deep emptiness…a deep lack of excitement/joy or any personal level of fulfillment. Trying to describe with words the frustration I felt at that time would be difficult, to say the least.
One day, during an experience of “hitting rock bottom” I had a massive moment of clarity and an instant sense of hope (which I will share here in Spirit Warrior one day soon). Without consciously trying to do so, I dropped all the fear, resistance and suffering related to my “doing-ness” in life and everything changed. In that moment, my heart and mind automatically uploaded the realization and the knowing of what I truly preferred to do with my life (I was still only focused on “what do I do to make money” at the time) and I took immediate action based on this epiphany. Audrey and I started our web development business on January 1st 2010 on the same day that I had this awakening experience, during the recession, when we had no money or jobs and we were being evicted from our home that was going into foreclosure due to being scammed by a loan re-modification company. Needless to say, our lives changed forever, for the better.
Mission complete! I did it! I figured out what I want to do/be in life and I no longer have to struggle or worry about the meaning or purpose of life, right!? Wrong…
It is extremely important that you remember this as I move forward: The primary, inward state of being that I experienced so profoundly in that moment when we started our web development business was the key to my personal success…NOT the secondary result of building the web development business itself. I could have started any kind of business in this story so far, right? Do you really think I, or you, are born to “do” a job or a career or create a business? If a “god” exists, and everything in the universe exists as profoundly as it does, do you REALLY think the purpose of your life would be to gain X amount of skills, earn X amount of dollars and achieve X amount of achievements? And if a god DOESN’T exist, and you are the sole creator of your experience, do you really think you are going to look back on your life experience when you are on your death bed and give a rat’s ass about what corporate ladder you climbed or how “tidy” you were in society? The answer is obvious: of course not. No matter what you believe, you will look back on your life and try to find fond memories. You will hope that you were happy and shared happiness. You will hope that you were honest about who you were and that you expressed that truth fully. You will want to feel as if you left nothing unsaid or undone. What “doing-ness” (job/career/business) you engaged in while creating those fond memories, experiencing happiness and expressing your true self, will be of no consequence to you in the moment of your final breaths (unless it is directly linked to your true life-purpose). A job, career or business has no meaning, in and of itself.
Lets get back to the story. Audrey and I had just started a business based on an epiphany where I realized that we hated our lives and wanted to live them more truthfully. So here I was, trudging along in my new career/business, all the while thinking I had “made it”. Ahhh, the relief and tranquility of knowing that I had answered life’s biggest questions, “why am I here and what am I going to do”.
PAH’AHAHAHA! …I didn’t…know…shit. (and probably still don’t)
You see, I was going in the right direction, for sure, but I was a little unclear about how this whole “life-purpose” thing works. I spent my days extremely focused on what I was building externally (business policies, how the business operated, sales and client procurement, etc.). I worked very hard, harder than I had ever worked before. I was passionate about it and I really did try to build the most ethical and amazing business possible, but I didn’t realize what my true passions actually were. I was happier than I had ever been before (as an adult), but it didn’t last very long. Before I knew it, I was stressed out, frustrated and having a very difficult time. How could this be? I had the epiphany remember?! I started to DO what I knew was true for me beyond the life I had lived up to that point.
As time progressed, and since I didn’t understand (or fully understand) this idea of ‘being-ness’ versus ‘doing-ness’ I began to have extremely obvious moments of opposing experience. One day I would experience tons of joy and excitement and the next day I would be at the bar at noon because of how upset I was (that actually happened). I was extremely committed and excited about what we were creating and then 100% wanting to quit and never return at least dozens of times in the 7 or so years that we ran our company.
This back and forth experience became so clear-cut, that it was becoming really easy to see which moments excited me and which ones didn’t.
- On days where I had a lot of phone conversations with new clients about their business and their personal story, I was happy and filled with energy.
- On days where I was dealing with the particulars of our business, I felt drained and quite upset.
Why? What was it about those experiences that created such dramatic differences in my day to day experience? At one point I even quit my business and made the hard decision to leave behind my wife and small team at the time to create and pursue a business venture that seemed EVEN MORE in alignment with the proper “doings” that I “should” be doing with my life. 6 months later I realized that those “doings” weren’t the answer either. I was sure that if I could just find the right “doings” that I would then become fulfilled, happy, and even monetarily rich! Needless to say, I returned to the business that I had abandoned.
The answer finally came to me when I became clear about who I actually am and what I am actually here to be in the world.
- I am here to experience personal change from dark to light, from being asleep to being more conscious, from being controlled by fear to allowing my true self to express.
- Secondarily I am to be an avatar of such an experience (in all that I do), which will happen automatically and naturally as I transform myself.
That sounds a little silly when it is typed out. Let me clarify: if you knew me, you would know that since I was a child I’ve spend most of my waking hours contemplating the meaning of life. You would know that I am deeply entrenched in the suffering of humanity and how we can transcend our biggest problems as a species. You would know that my #1 interest in life is psychology, personal development, spirituality, philosophy and the deeper aspects/secrets to life. When someone is suffering because they are not living their truest life-path or expressing themselves authentically, it takes every bit of strength I have not to over-step other people’s boundaries and rip them out of their self-induced “slumber” and wake them the hell up. The thing that gets me going more than anything else in this life, is the personal obtainment of living in a higher vibrational state and the sharing of how someone else can come to do it for themselves as well.
So when I would speak to client’s on the phone about their business and having great work-days because of that, I didn’t actually care about web design or the particular’s of their brand or business model (and I was always honest about that). What I was excited about and the reason why I gained energy on those days, is because these were usually individuals starting a small business that was related to a personal ‘break-through’ and moment of clarity that THEY had in their life which caused them to want to create a business which was somehow linked to their “true self”. Since I am most interested in and excited about that type of break-through and authentic expression, not only for myself, but for others…on these days I was alive and felt quite fulfilled. Them needing a website created by us was extremely secondary for me.
As the years went by, I became very aware that my life’s purpose had nothing to do with becoming a web development business owner, or even to help people with their website needs when related to their own life’s purpose. My life’s purpose had nothing to do with what I “did” externally. It has to do with BEing my true self.
To be clear: I am not suggesting that the external, secondary actions you take, based on who you really are, are pointless or meaningless. However what I AM firmly stating, is that if you think you can find your happiness, fulfillment and meaning in life by focusing on what you will DO in life, you might be disappointed.
This is the first time I have fully expressed this concept to anyone, and I hope to this point that it is clear what I am trying to explain. If not, perhaps the following will put the pieces of the puzzle together for you.
Fast forward in the story to today and I have quit my web development business for good. Audrey and my team are taken care of and are in the right place on their own paths. I regret nothing and feel more in alignment with my true life purpose than ever before.
Now, you could imagine that I wake up every day with who I really am and what I am resonating with all written out on a t-shirt that I wear all day (kind-of like t-shirts we sell in our shop). Everything I think, feel, consider or do, all stems from this awareness of my personal truth. As I resonate with my authentic self and do the best I can to let that express fully in my life, the secondary part, the “doing”, literally falls into place so effortlessly that it is obvious to me now how all of this works, at least to this point in my life.
Audrey and I aren’t re-launching Spirit Warrior Shop so we can make money while doing something we love. We re-launched Spirit Warrior Shop because it is an expression of our true selves.
I can only speak for myself when I say that I spent years focusing on “what I was going to DO in this life” in order to “live my life purpose” in order to become fulfilled and happy, with little to no results. It was only when I relinquished all the layers of resistance and fear regarding who I really am that everything fell into place. Instead of constantly trying so hard to “make it happen”, you could liken my life experience to relaxing in a canoe , rolling down the stream of my life-path as the current pulls me along. Don’t worry, I still smash into the occasional boulder and fall off the edge of plenty of water falls 🙂
Get in touch with your being-ness…who you really are. The rest will unfold automatically if you let it. In-ward out, instead of out-ward in.
Journey on, Spirit Warrior.